Anatomy of the Lincoln Park Woman

Whether you are in customer service or just shop at Whole Foods in Lincoln Park Chicago, you know what prototype this is. The alpha female of hyperville Lincoln Park. I'm not talking alpha as in strong, advancing the world, female. I'm talking aggressively rude, self absorbed, materialistic, entitled, and abrasive. I'm talking never moves the the side of the sidewalk when you can't get by. I'm talking doesn't smile at you if you smile at her. I'm talking talks on her blue tooth while she is doing a transaction with you. I'm talking has several nannies but she doesn't really work. I'm talking if you are standing next to this woman at Whole Foods and you were clearly there first, she will tell the deli man she was next.

A. Non expressive eyebrows
B. Non prescription glasses, just something that is in style
C. Blue tooth glued to cheek/mouth/ear
D. Could really be any color hair nowadays.
E. The lips are important. They don't move. Could be from too much botox. Could be she just doesn't smile.
F. Diamonds or pearls. Maybe Lia Sophia or some shit like that
G. Chic/non expressive garments
H. Long dagger fingernails.
I. Gargantuan purse/handbag with big print that hangs over arm at all times and doesn't move out of the way ever. Holds several items such as extra pair of stillettos or creams or screaming baby.
J. Ugly shoes. Even if they are designer. And tall. And clicky. And loud on pavement. You know she's walked into Starbucks if you hear the shoes.
K. Breast cancer awareness clothing/jewelery. Philanthropy by way of fashion, making ugly on the inside beautiful on the outside.
L. The Hispanic nanny or housekeeper.