Manspreading the News
Flying on an airplane for four hours from Los Angeles to Chicago is much like existing in a world that you didn't choose. Unlike the current state of politics and societal disgraces, you might find yourself tolerating most everyone, because it will all be over soon. But what if, for the duration of the four hours, you are forced to sit next to a man that spreads his legs so far to each side, you might expect his balls to split in half right down the middle if he moves just a half an inch further? It is not easy to decide you will delicately, or not so delicately, tell this man that he needs to smash his balls together and that, like the outside world, there are certain rules of etiquette that one should follow on the airplane. But it's as if he can't help it. Even as I sit there, frustrated, because his knee is slightly resting on mine even though my knee is within the boundaries of my space, I start to say to myself, maybe he doesn't realize. Well, my friends,
