Please Blame the Pants People

Why does everyone insist on focusing on Jessica's weight? WHY AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT THE UNFLATTERING PANTS?

First of all, it's just become fanatical because people relate to it. She gets to be scrutinized so we can feel better. So I'm sorry your feeling attacked Jess, but trust me, get rid of those pants and you'll do yourself a favor.

Heidi Klum recently spoke out in Jessica's defense by saying "people should be comfortable."

HOW CAN ANYONE BE COMFORTABLE IN VAGINA SUFFOCATING CLOTH?

I mean, yes, if Jess feels alive and healthy and she's gained a few pounds in the process Jesus Christ lay off it people!! If I eat a frickin' chocolate bar at midnight and the next day I weigh 20 pounds more and feel like a truck hit me. Don't you know what we go through?! Not to mention water retention which, if you're lucky, only happens 1 week out of the month.

BUT THE VAGINA RIDING CAMEL TOE PANTS!!!

If you want to criticize someone A) Find out who designed those and B) call Jessica's agent and bitch him out for letting her 'be nice' and endorse them. Oh, wait, that would be her dad. Nasty.