Old Woman Watering Fake Plants
A very elderly woman was caught watering a fake pot of synthetic flowers in our lobby today. And this is what I envision her stage monologue to be someday when I play her:
"Oh, this plant looks like it needs water like my tee tahs need some bounce! Can I get a cup of water please? I need to feed this thing. It's dead, it's DEEAAAAD! Help! I need to save the plant. Did you know that outer space exists in the movies? I believe in some things but not if they mean for me to get experimented on-I'm not some alien's raw meat! Do you hear me Pluto?! Back when I was a little girl we didn't even TALK about such things. We didn't talk about sex, aliens, boys, and we certainly didn't talk about our opinions. But now it's 2009 and I'm here to tell you that I want this damn plant watered first thing this morning. It is still morning right? Am I....am I eating lunch soon. I am hungry. Ok, here you go little plant. Doo dee doo. (smells flowers) Mmmmmm! So fresh and vibrant. It's like I'm in a garden and the bees are singing me a song about pantyhose. Ok, thanks for the water everyone. I'm gonna go on this spaceship now and watch a show. Bye!"
"Oh, this plant looks like it needs water like my tee tahs need some bounce! Can I get a cup of water please? I need to feed this thing. It's dead, it's DEEAAAAD! Help! I need to save the plant. Did you know that outer space exists in the movies? I believe in some things but not if they mean for me to get experimented on-I'm not some alien's raw meat! Do you hear me Pluto?! Back when I was a little girl we didn't even TALK about such things. We didn't talk about sex, aliens, boys, and we certainly didn't talk about our opinions. But now it's 2009 and I'm here to tell you that I want this damn plant watered first thing this morning. It is still morning right? Am I....am I eating lunch soon. I am hungry. Ok, here you go little plant. Doo dee doo. (smells flowers) Mmmmmm! So fresh and vibrant. It's like I'm in a garden and the bees are singing me a song about pantyhose. Ok, thanks for the water everyone. I'm gonna go on this spaceship now and watch a show. Bye!"
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