Where's the Money B@#!!!?

"Hi, I'm Nancy with Professional Recovery Services. Calling to collect debt. What? No, I'm not giving you my last name...because then you will harrass me. Anyway, you owe 500,000 dollars on a bill that you didn't pay back in 1973 and we are now needing that money. By the way, I am not an 'angry' person. Some people, when they talk to me get the feeling that I don't like my job. I LOVE my job. I. LOVE. MY. JOB. I love customer service. NO. This IS customer service. I mean, I'm not trying to help you but I do call you which is technically....you know what? It doesn't matter. Because I have God in my life and only He needs to know whether I'm happy or not. Anyway, you went the emergency room in 1973 for a car accident and they recessitated you...blah blah blah..bottom line is where is our money bitch? By the way, this phone call is being recorded and anything you say will be held against you but not me. What do you mean you can't pay it? What's wrong with you? I mean, you get hit by a truck as you are crossing the highway and some doctor saves your frickin' life and you just can't pay him back. Well let me tell you something, I don't go around asking people to save MY life and then expect it for free! What? Ya, $500,000 is a lot of money. So when you gonna pay it up? What do I make? $7.25 an hour and I get a lunch break so UH in your face!!!! Yes, I have bills why do you think I'm working here!? I have credit cards up the wazoo-Lane Bryant, Gap, Best Buy, Fannie Mae. Yes, Fannie Mae has a credit card-I owe like $1200 on it! But at least I pay it AND I get nice things. Like last month I bought my daughter $500 pair of jeans. And I made sacrifices for that-like my son doesn't go to school this year so she can have those. So, don't EVEN talk to me about how you can't pay shit. What? I already said this call is being recorded ho snatch! Gawwwd! So when you gonna pay me so I can buy those Gucci shoes I want? Huh? Where do you work? What? You 85 years old? That's too bad grandpa. Suck my left tittie and hand over the dough."