"Oh, You Mean THIS Gate Key"- Floyd, Peoples Gas
Is People's Gas for real? Remember that scene from The Princess Bride when the Giant and Fezek storm the castle and Westley is paralyzed hanging from Fezek and they finally get through all the men to the gate and that dweeb with the pornstache is standing there shaking and Fezek tells him to hand over the gate key and dweebo acts all "whaaaa?" and then Fezek tells Giant to tear his arms off and the whole tone changes and dweebo hands over the gate key?
That's sort of what I imagine doing to People's Gas.
I so hate People's Gas. First, they charge us a "customer charge" of $15 just for being a People's Gas customer. When I called to ask about this charge she says "it's for being a customer." I say "I HAVE NO CHOICE." And then she says nothing back.
Then I call yesterday to ask to be on a monthly billing cycle instead of a bimonthly billing cycle, which I never asked for to begin with. She tells me that since we are cooking gas only a monthly billing cycle is not an option. Then I say "can I get on the budget plan". And she says "you can't do that because you are bi-monthly."
I didn't even stay on the phone to fart on the speaker or do any sort of usual temper tantrum antics like I usually do.
I just said "Ok. thanks. fine. good. goodbye."
So as of now we pay about $50-70 a month to cook *maybe* a breakfast sandwich once a day and to talk to People's Gas representatives once a month about all of our non-options. Might I add that we pay less in electric every month? Which is amazing considering that we run a space heater for like 8 hours a night and Brent blow torches glass animals all day long.
What do you have to do these days to pay the bare minimum, to get a deal?
So I have a plan, sort of. I mean it involves gas propane, visiting People's Gas corporate offices, and dressing up in either a duck or bear costume with a sign that says "Will Light Farts for a $15 People's Gas Customer Fee Donation." Something like that. And at that point I figure Floyd, or whoever I talk to on the phone every month (Floyd because I'm sure it's woman but she has a Floyd type of quality to both the intonation and inflection of her voice), will come out and finally just hand over the gate key.
That's sort of what I imagine doing to People's Gas.
I so hate People's Gas. First, they charge us a "customer charge" of $15 just for being a People's Gas customer. When I called to ask about this charge she says "it's for being a customer." I say "I HAVE NO CHOICE." And then she says nothing back.
Then I call yesterday to ask to be on a monthly billing cycle instead of a bimonthly billing cycle, which I never asked for to begin with. She tells me that since we are cooking gas only a monthly billing cycle is not an option. Then I say "can I get on the budget plan". And she says "you can't do that because you are bi-monthly."
I didn't even stay on the phone to fart on the speaker or do any sort of usual temper tantrum antics like I usually do.
I just said "Ok. thanks. fine. good. goodbye."
So as of now we pay about $50-70 a month to cook *maybe* a breakfast sandwich once a day and to talk to People's Gas representatives once a month about all of our non-options. Might I add that we pay less in electric every month? Which is amazing considering that we run a space heater for like 8 hours a night and Brent blow torches glass animals all day long.
What do you have to do these days to pay the bare minimum, to get a deal?
So I have a plan, sort of. I mean it involves gas propane, visiting People's Gas corporate offices, and dressing up in either a duck or bear costume with a sign that says "Will Light Farts for a $15 People's Gas Customer Fee Donation." Something like that. And at that point I figure Floyd, or whoever I talk to on the phone every month (Floyd because I'm sure it's woman but she has a Floyd type of quality to both the intonation and inflection of her voice), will come out and finally just hand over the gate key.
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