Forgiveness is not a Freebie
Forgiveness is better hands on rather than a pastor telling me to forgive blindly. Wouldn't you say?
This weekend I spent a fair amount of time with family. This comes on the heel of the death of my grandfather. And my grandma and I spent some time talking about the past, family tension, unresolved issues that come out when traumatic events, like death, happen. She had some thoughts about what she could've/should've done differently. I assured her that the best thing she ever could do is forgive someone, which she had.
If there is one thing I have learned about my family its that we are very blended. My grandma married three times, and she still has children of all three marriages as part of our extended family. It's always been that way. As a matter of fact, I never knew that some of the people I called aunt or uncle weren't really my blood relatives. I find it quite amazing that through all the years my grandmother had such an open heart. I told her today that although some of those people may not have accepted her, she can only know that her door was open and they chose to walk through it or not.
For years I grew up in a town where many of my friends believed that we were forgiven for our sins. I don't really think they understood what that meant. They just blindly walked around telling everyone that they could do whatever, so long as they showed up for church on Sunday. I got so tired of hearing that. Especially when they did mean things to people or resented people for long periods of time for being gay or culturally different.
My thought is that you forgive by example and you are forgiven when you open your heart and not hold resentment.
When my dad married my stepmother we had the typical difficulties that comes along with a blended family. But with time we have found that forgiveness goes a long way. And once my stepmom forgave us for being stubborn we were able to understand that unconditional love doesn't just come as a freebie. You have to actually see it. See it for yourself and do the work to forgive back.
As I get older I realize that family is really important. And as my grandma said today-it's good to know you have support from somewhere. It's good to look past the things that were and embrace what we become in times of need. It's good to know that even in an area where many people don't do the work to ask the hard questions or see beyond Jesus Saves Those Who Deserve, my family has always attempted to do the hard work and to be there when sometimes big mistakes were made. That's forgiveness. That's true forgiveness.
This weekend I spent a fair amount of time with family. This comes on the heel of the death of my grandfather. And my grandma and I spent some time talking about the past, family tension, unresolved issues that come out when traumatic events, like death, happen. She had some thoughts about what she could've/should've done differently. I assured her that the best thing she ever could do is forgive someone, which she had.
If there is one thing I have learned about my family its that we are very blended. My grandma married three times, and she still has children of all three marriages as part of our extended family. It's always been that way. As a matter of fact, I never knew that some of the people I called aunt or uncle weren't really my blood relatives. I find it quite amazing that through all the years my grandmother had such an open heart. I told her today that although some of those people may not have accepted her, she can only know that her door was open and they chose to walk through it or not.
For years I grew up in a town where many of my friends believed that we were forgiven for our sins. I don't really think they understood what that meant. They just blindly walked around telling everyone that they could do whatever, so long as they showed up for church on Sunday. I got so tired of hearing that. Especially when they did mean things to people or resented people for long periods of time for being gay or culturally different.
My thought is that you forgive by example and you are forgiven when you open your heart and not hold resentment.
When my dad married my stepmother we had the typical difficulties that comes along with a blended family. But with time we have found that forgiveness goes a long way. And once my stepmom forgave us for being stubborn we were able to understand that unconditional love doesn't just come as a freebie. You have to actually see it. See it for yourself and do the work to forgive back.
As I get older I realize that family is really important. And as my grandma said today-it's good to know you have support from somewhere. It's good to look past the things that were and embrace what we become in times of need. It's good to know that even in an area where many people don't do the work to ask the hard questions or see beyond Jesus Saves Those Who Deserve, my family has always attempted to do the hard work and to be there when sometimes big mistakes were made. That's forgiveness. That's true forgiveness.
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