Texts on My Phone

1. This is nice man with leash on son at the zoo
2. I totally see the Double Dick Twins
3. Shitting water out my ass...how was Bruno?
4. Has your pee ever smelled like cat piss?
5. ummm i just remembered that we pranked my client
6. ok...i'll bang becca...brent
7. eating out world of wrcrft
8. there is a woman @ martins deli who looks like ted danson
9. have the bathwater drawn for papa
10. pump up my penis
11. omg! Zootalu is from little mermaid the chef!
12. Is it against the law to bind and gag your own mother and maybe blindfold her also
13. have a great vagina time
14. weirdo looks like erueka the castle
15. i'm totally taking her photo and photoshopping dragon fire from her nostrils
16. you gonna flash john o?
17. tell claire i miss her lips
18. Perfect 10 night!! Whooo. Me drinky. Now get back to boinky.
19. cooter keeper
20. oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god!!
21. yep. let's do the WTGW doc w/ an orgy and murder
22. just waxed your sister's moustache