To Kevin

Like the pavement of the playground in 88'
I walk tepidly, cautiously
I hear your name, the news
The songs we sang to you
"Tell me, tell me, tell me...do you love me!?"
The snow falls on my eyelashes
I'm reminded of the strange quiet, the happy silence
That you carried with you
When you were my first boyfriend in the 4th grade
Later my friend
Exchanging eye rolls, subtle laughter
About the ironies of high school
I didn't know, but I think you wanted to tell me
I slipped on the floor at Target this morning
I slipped and when I caught my balance
I cussed at myself and I got angry and I cried
And I turned away from everyone
And I hid my tears
And I felt very dumb
And then it all came together
Remember that time I saw you and you finally told me
That the world isn't fair
And we laughed as adults about the irony of life
I'm angry about that
Even though I wasn't then
And I'm sorry for that
Even though its not my fault
Your life was admirable
It was precious and strong and I wish
You the peace, all the peace in the world
I wish you love