A Story (dedicated to my close friend, boredom)
Once upon a pickle there lived a small peanut, heir to Mr. Peanut-ruler of peanutbutter land. This small peanut's name was Shelldie and his true passion in life was fixing car speakers. Ever since he was a baby he would coo at the sound of vibration or bounce to the beat of Britney Spears on his father's radio. But Mr. Peanut, a fierce and salty ruler, had other things in store for Shelldie.
"Shelldie, your mother and I" (though Shelldie did not have a mother, she died long ago of a freak speaker accident when the sound of Billy Joel cracked her in half) "have always dreamed that you would one day take over my position as ruler of Peanut Butter land. Peanuts are sacred and each of us, when we pass, should be cremated for the sole purpose of providing a smooth jar of taste for humans. If you do not take over this position, peanut butter will no longer be."
Shelldie resented his destiny to work as Peanut Butter Ruler, or as his peers called it-PBR, a running joke that his father was really a bad beer.
In school Shelldie would secretly work in a hidden cove outside the playground. He would collect wires and other parts so that he could build equipment. One time he came close to constructing his master project until a an elder peanut noticed his doings and told on him to his father.
"You are NEVER to go near car speakers or anything to do with car speakers again! Your mother died from one and I will not lose my little peanut too!"
Shelldie was now furious. He stayed in his room and cursed the day he was born.
Suddenly, a faint noise could be heard out his window. He peeked his head out and noticed a car parked in the neighbor's driveway. The music was so clear, the bass so crisp, the levels so perfectly in sync he almost cried. He lept out his window but didn't get much further from the fence when his father came out to the yard.
"Back in your room!"
But from across the street the music continued. And out from the car stepped the most beautiful jar of jelly Shelldie had ever seen. She wore overalls and had wires in both hands. She waved to Shelldie, he waved back before climbing back into his window. Her name was Grape.
Later that night Shelldie snuck out again, this time while Mr. Peanut was sleeping. He tapped on the girl's window. She met him in the driveway.
"You fix car speakers?"
"Yeah!" She opened her trunk and they analyzed her work together. Then they made love-it was everything he had hoped for-someone who understood him. They went together like...peanut butter and jelly.
The next day Shelldie declared to his father:
"I am not going to take over your position. I'm going to fix car speakers. It's what mom would have wanted. I'm going to make them so they don't hurt people. And I found someone who loves me for my desire to do so. Also, I'm leaving. Goodbye."
And just like that, despite Mr. Peanuts tactics, Shelldie and Grape moved into a tiny apartment down the street.
They fixed car stereos, they talked about their dreams, and they rebelled against Peanut Butter land. Then one day, as Shelldie was going for a walk he stopped by to see Mr. Peanut. He was very surprised to find that his father was working on a car stereo!
"What are you doing?"
Startled Mr. Peanut replied, "Oh, it's just a little hobby I've always had. I didn't want you to know because I always told you not to do it. That's because you can't make a living at it son. You just can't. It will always be a hobby."
"But that's not true, I started a shop with Grape and we are living just fine!"
"I suppose that's true. It's just not, it's not what I wanted you to do."
"I know dad. Hey let me see what you are doing!"
And just like that they shared their interests without judgement.
Mr. Peanut ruled the land until his last days and before he died he told Shelldie "Do what you love, like peanut butter and jelly, it just works better that way."
The End.
"Shelldie, your mother and I" (though Shelldie did not have a mother, she died long ago of a freak speaker accident when the sound of Billy Joel cracked her in half) "have always dreamed that you would one day take over my position as ruler of Peanut Butter land. Peanuts are sacred and each of us, when we pass, should be cremated for the sole purpose of providing a smooth jar of taste for humans. If you do not take over this position, peanut butter will no longer be."
Shelldie resented his destiny to work as Peanut Butter Ruler, or as his peers called it-PBR, a running joke that his father was really a bad beer.
In school Shelldie would secretly work in a hidden cove outside the playground. He would collect wires and other parts so that he could build equipment. One time he came close to constructing his master project until a an elder peanut noticed his doings and told on him to his father.
"You are NEVER to go near car speakers or anything to do with car speakers again! Your mother died from one and I will not lose my little peanut too!"
Shelldie was now furious. He stayed in his room and cursed the day he was born.
Suddenly, a faint noise could be heard out his window. He peeked his head out and noticed a car parked in the neighbor's driveway. The music was so clear, the bass so crisp, the levels so perfectly in sync he almost cried. He lept out his window but didn't get much further from the fence when his father came out to the yard.
"Back in your room!"
But from across the street the music continued. And out from the car stepped the most beautiful jar of jelly Shelldie had ever seen. She wore overalls and had wires in both hands. She waved to Shelldie, he waved back before climbing back into his window. Her name was Grape.
Later that night Shelldie snuck out again, this time while Mr. Peanut was sleeping. He tapped on the girl's window. She met him in the driveway.
"You fix car speakers?"
"Yeah!" She opened her trunk and they analyzed her work together. Then they made love-it was everything he had hoped for-someone who understood him. They went together like...peanut butter and jelly.
The next day Shelldie declared to his father:
"I am not going to take over your position. I'm going to fix car speakers. It's what mom would have wanted. I'm going to make them so they don't hurt people. And I found someone who loves me for my desire to do so. Also, I'm leaving. Goodbye."
And just like that, despite Mr. Peanuts tactics, Shelldie and Grape moved into a tiny apartment down the street.
They fixed car stereos, they talked about their dreams, and they rebelled against Peanut Butter land. Then one day, as Shelldie was going for a walk he stopped by to see Mr. Peanut. He was very surprised to find that his father was working on a car stereo!
"What are you doing?"
Startled Mr. Peanut replied, "Oh, it's just a little hobby I've always had. I didn't want you to know because I always told you not to do it. That's because you can't make a living at it son. You just can't. It will always be a hobby."
"But that's not true, I started a shop with Grape and we are living just fine!"
"I suppose that's true. It's just not, it's not what I wanted you to do."
"I know dad. Hey let me see what you are doing!"
And just like that they shared their interests without judgement.
Mr. Peanut ruled the land until his last days and before he died he told Shelldie "Do what you love, like peanut butter and jelly, it just works better that way."
The End.
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