Funny Text Messages on My Phone

I was going through some old text messages and found the following from over the past year! They are random and funny. Each line below is a different message:

OMIGOD Jackie is here from Roseanne. Gary Senise is in this show.

Homeless just told me she loved me.

Just wanted to tell you I love you! (and you left your clothes on the bathroom floor)

Steve has a big co#$!

Y was his underwear off? Smoke!

Depressed and very homely. Please send drugs and mask.

:) Come back i miss u. (:

I'm going to the star wars wedding and ur not!!!!

Hope you are having a blessed day in Christ's hope. Brent T. Penisworth.

Alone. Scared. Cold. Send food.

Ur not depressed. Ur just cold.

Lame.

Well already cried once today. Wanna make it twice?