Best Text Messages of 2009 from My Phone
Starting from the oldest to most recent.
1. bar is open. mimosa!
2. I'm making chocolate cake. with your name on it.
3. The word "scrump" always makes me giggle.
4. Maybe I should just answer the door with no pants on and see what he's wearing.
5. free McCafe is size of my nipple
6. at the deli at Whole Foods and you can get a mothafuckin chicken burrito for 4 bucks
7. Biggles says he wants to get high on catnip with Maris
8. say goodnight to my pussy for me....
9. We're at Walmart....and drunk as balls
10.has your pee ever smelled like cat piss?
11. just ran three blocks in heels to the bus and look like mad woman
12. Amazon?...and he just said sexual...just threw up
13. ball inspection complete.
14. actually i'm drug free since '04. Thank you Terry and Gentle Waters.
15. for aure im wasted see u tomorrow!
16. sorry clarisa, terribly busy workday. Yes! Come on over and gimme back my balls!
17. they're playing colorado to end this set..wish you were here
18. if i'm ronda your wizard
19. mary m**** is a whore
20. fuckin homeless man
21. terry wanted everyone to have a hot dog bun!
22. Happy Thanksgiving from the shitter at brownstone (this was a pic msg)
23. Jessica u rock. I admire your marriage your candidness and fun for life.thanks for paying my tab. godspeed.
34. i'm giving birth to a giant 7 headed squid
25. sounds titalating
1. bar is open. mimosa!
2. I'm making chocolate cake. with your name on it.
3. The word "scrump" always makes me giggle.
4. Maybe I should just answer the door with no pants on and see what he's wearing.
5. free McCafe is size of my nipple
6. at the deli at Whole Foods and you can get a mothafuckin chicken burrito for 4 bucks
7. Biggles says he wants to get high on catnip with Maris
8. say goodnight to my pussy for me....
9. We're at Walmart....and drunk as balls
10.has your pee ever smelled like cat piss?
11. just ran three blocks in heels to the bus and look like mad woman
12. Amazon?...and he just said sexual...just threw up
13. ball inspection complete.
14. actually i'm drug free since '04. Thank you Terry and Gentle Waters.
15. for aure im wasted see u tomorrow!
16. sorry clarisa, terribly busy workday. Yes! Come on over and gimme back my balls!
17. they're playing colorado to end this set..wish you were here
18. if i'm ronda your wizard
19. mary m**** is a whore
20. fuckin homeless man
21. terry wanted everyone to have a hot dog bun!
22. Happy Thanksgiving from the shitter at brownstone (this was a pic msg)
23. Jessica u rock. I admire your marriage your candidness and fun for life.thanks for paying my tab. godspeed.
34. i'm giving birth to a giant 7 headed squid
25. sounds titalating
Comments
This is definitely one of those great blogs that has me laughing at one moment and saying 'damn why didn't I think of this' the next. Well, well done, J.