Rules for Those Visiting Chicago for St. Patty's Day
As St. Patrick's Day approaches let me just remind you of some things that you can do to make things much more tolerable for people who actually live in Chicago year round.
1. Don't bring beer on the bus. Just please. Don't.
2. We know that you will be drinking on the bus starting at 9 am but if you must do that please don't look at me.
3. At noon, when you are sloshed, try TRY to not come into my work asking if you can puke in our bathroom.
4. You will most likely hit four to five bars in the day. By your last one it might be best to put your clothes back on.
5. The sunglasses in the shape of clovers are cute but take them off at night or you'll get hit by a car.
6. If you are not really Irish, don't try to claim that you are just because your T-Shirt says Kiss Me and you dyed your hair green.
7. Guiness should be drank slowly and not on my front porch. If you are on my front porch you should consider keeping with you a tag or leash of some sort.
8. Don't fall in the green river. Our tax money will go towards getting you out and, well, I'm broke.
9. When I see you clogging up the six corners of Wicker Park don't blow happy go lucky St. Patty's cig smoke in my face.
10. Lastly, have fun!
1. Don't bring beer on the bus. Just please. Don't.
2. We know that you will be drinking on the bus starting at 9 am but if you must do that please don't look at me.
3. At noon, when you are sloshed, try TRY to not come into my work asking if you can puke in our bathroom.
4. You will most likely hit four to five bars in the day. By your last one it might be best to put your clothes back on.
5. The sunglasses in the shape of clovers are cute but take them off at night or you'll get hit by a car.
6. If you are not really Irish, don't try to claim that you are just because your T-Shirt says Kiss Me and you dyed your hair green.
7. Guiness should be drank slowly and not on my front porch. If you are on my front porch you should consider keeping with you a tag or leash of some sort.
8. Don't fall in the green river. Our tax money will go towards getting you out and, well, I'm broke.
9. When I see you clogging up the six corners of Wicker Park don't blow happy go lucky St. Patty's cig smoke in my face.
10. Lastly, have fun!
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