Owner of West Asset Talks about his THINGY

A speech given by Tad Rivelle, owner of West Asset Management company, about calling people and harassing them for money on their student loans during this economy:

"When I was four years old I ate my own thingy. I know it sounds strange but I did. I've always had a knack for doing things that make no sense. When I was in elementary I used to tie my ears together with a string around the front of my face. And now, well, it made one of my eyes pop out and my teacher had to put it in but it's never sat quite right. What I'm trying to say is-I've been through pain and I'm not gonna just put up with any body's shit anymore. So when I got into high school I started wishing I hadn't ate my thingy off and I got real mad about it. I decided to like math and start dedicating my life to figuring out how I can get rich. In college I lived alone and dedicated my life to someday being in charge of a company that made other people's lives a living hell. Now my dream has come true. At LEAST 20 times a day my employees are calling people they don't know telling them they better pay off their 20, 30, 80 thousand dollar school loans right now! I think its great. I wake up in the morning and say to myself-Tadpole, life is just as you hoped. You will get the best of the world. Now, some people ask-how can you do this when the economy is bad, students can't get work, and well just based on humanity alone, doesn't it seem like you could do something better with your life?......NO. I don't even understand your question. Humanity? What the eff? I ain't got much time for giving a shit about anything. It's going to cost me 3.4 million dollars to get a new thingy transplant. And I'm not spending money on something I'll never use. So how's that for humanity?"