Live from Chicago, This is the News
And now your local NEWS!!!
*TRAFFIC* The intersection of Milwaukee and Damen and North Ave. continues to be one of the city's most dangerous spots. A left turn is mostly prohibited but vehicles break the rules daily as pedestrians run for their lives even when they have the right of way. In response to this issue Bank of America plans to continue to act "all bad ass" in hopes to reaffirm that this is no longer a "rebel hood" (all statements made by company president Frankfurt P. Freely).
*UNEMPLOYMENT* Jobs are being laid off daily but this doesn't seem to affect people's ability to get laid on. According to a Chicago random survey 88 out of 100 people are still doing it in hard times. he he he. The survey would have been 100 out of 100 but Barack Obama no longer lives in Chicago-Michelle turned in 12 surveys in one day.
*WEATHER* Warmer weather has hit Chi-town this weekend allowing more people to jog outside and more dogs to piss and shit all over the sidewalks.
*POLITICS* Former Gov. Blagojevich is very upset that people are still telling him he's not governor. And after SNL's recent spoof on his personality Mr. Blagojevich plans another media stint in which he receives a new makeover on TLC. Unfortunately show producers rejected Blagojevich's wish and explained "We could never work with that hair."
*TRAFFIC* The intersection of Milwaukee and Damen and North Ave. continues to be one of the city's most dangerous spots. A left turn is mostly prohibited but vehicles break the rules daily as pedestrians run for their lives even when they have the right of way. In response to this issue Bank of America plans to continue to act "all bad ass" in hopes to reaffirm that this is no longer a "rebel hood" (all statements made by company president Frankfurt P. Freely).
*UNEMPLOYMENT* Jobs are being laid off daily but this doesn't seem to affect people's ability to get laid on. According to a Chicago random survey 88 out of 100 people are still doing it in hard times. he he he. The survey would have been 100 out of 100 but Barack Obama no longer lives in Chicago-Michelle turned in 12 surveys in one day.
*WEATHER* Warmer weather has hit Chi-town this weekend allowing more people to jog outside and more dogs to piss and shit all over the sidewalks.
*POLITICS* Former Gov. Blagojevich is very upset that people are still telling him he's not governor. And after SNL's recent spoof on his personality Mr. Blagojevich plans another media stint in which he receives a new makeover on TLC. Unfortunately show producers rejected Blagojevich's wish and explained "We could never work with that hair."
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