Can We See?
As humans we develop relationships that are so dynamic, unique, and sometimes unconditional. When it changes or doesn't change we navigate what we need and what we are getting. Sometimes we get it. Sometimes it's complicated. And sometimes we give up hope that the relationship can survive or we are able to transform it. But when we are on the ride are we really able to see things the way they are?
I have a friend, who I see once a month, and we support and listen to each other in times of need. And she often says to me "we can only really have our own perception." Which I agree with. But what if our perception is formed by our hopes, not our instincts, our mood, not the facts?
I have this other relationship. It's stormy. Full of ups and downs. You have one too? I've had this relationship my whole life. Sometimes I feel content about it and sometimes I don't. But when I don't, I'm not ever convinced it's a big deal. Then one day it is a big deal and I'm faced with the facts. And then I realize I've never really seen it for what it is.
But this seems natural. I mean, why on earth would anyone want to really see all things as they are? Take for instance Christmas-a holiday that is no longer about spirituality but rather a time most of us give in to overindulgence, emptying our pockets, and trying to catch up with everyone in a few hours. But if we view it that way, does anything change? Not likely. So we give in to the dysfunction and just enjoy what you can-food, a few good laughs, some time off from work. Not to menion some snuggling and hot chocolate. Unless...
Could you see things as they are and begin changing the dynamic? I supposed this is what we might call growth and evolving. If we decide to see Christmas as it really is and choose to just focus on connecting throughout the year and not giving into the big consumer blowout season we might be the only one. And that feels lonely. But will the dynamic change over time? Sure. And might you feel better? Sure. Eventually. But are we patient enough to wait? Depends.
Sometimes I literally can't see things as they are. I look down the city streets for a bus and dream up in my head that a mile away I see the bus headlights. And even as it gets closer and I'm pretty sure its a tow truck but I tell myself it could still be the bus.
That kind of optimism is golden. It can move mountains and push limits when walls need to come down.
But sometimes knowing that the bus isn't coming is just as much a part of moving forward.
I have a friend, who I see once a month, and we support and listen to each other in times of need. And she often says to me "we can only really have our own perception." Which I agree with. But what if our perception is formed by our hopes, not our instincts, our mood, not the facts?
I have this other relationship. It's stormy. Full of ups and downs. You have one too? I've had this relationship my whole life. Sometimes I feel content about it and sometimes I don't. But when I don't, I'm not ever convinced it's a big deal. Then one day it is a big deal and I'm faced with the facts. And then I realize I've never really seen it for what it is.
But this seems natural. I mean, why on earth would anyone want to really see all things as they are? Take for instance Christmas-a holiday that is no longer about spirituality but rather a time most of us give in to overindulgence, emptying our pockets, and trying to catch up with everyone in a few hours. But if we view it that way, does anything change? Not likely. So we give in to the dysfunction and just enjoy what you can-food, a few good laughs, some time off from work. Not to menion some snuggling and hot chocolate. Unless...
Could you see things as they are and begin changing the dynamic? I supposed this is what we might call growth and evolving. If we decide to see Christmas as it really is and choose to just focus on connecting throughout the year and not giving into the big consumer blowout season we might be the only one. And that feels lonely. But will the dynamic change over time? Sure. And might you feel better? Sure. Eventually. But are we patient enough to wait? Depends.
Sometimes I literally can't see things as they are. I look down the city streets for a bus and dream up in my head that a mile away I see the bus headlights. And even as it gets closer and I'm pretty sure its a tow truck but I tell myself it could still be the bus.
That kind of optimism is golden. It can move mountains and push limits when walls need to come down.
But sometimes knowing that the bus isn't coming is just as much a part of moving forward.
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