The Great? Apartment Search

LISTEN as Francisco Foreskin, a french immigrant, explains his thoughts on apartment searching in America.

"Ok, so my friend Ashley need some help with zee apartment searching in zee Chicago. I find some nice ones and some cheaper nice ones and we go look to the zee places. Oh my god, what kind of sheet is this? We knock on zee door and some sort of stink is burning my eyes and my nose and I fink I smell cheese or some sheet. So zee nice boy come down and let us in and I am not sure if he is safe or not but I take my chances cuz I got some muscles if I need to use them. So we go down zee stairs and jesus fu*%ing grapes it smell like dead animal or some sheet. So we go down and zee boy is talking like zees ees like some kind of hotel in zee downtown area but I know better when I see big white stain on the carpet. I mean, how you going to sell a place that you killed babies in? So we walking through the apartment and I can't keep my moustache straight. Right away I see the bathroom and WHERE THE WINDOW GO? I knew something not right. In the kitchen someone decorate by putting foil on the wall. I mean what kind of American white trash bullsheet is that and then I begin to laugh and Ashley is embarrassed but hey that what Uncle Francisco for. Ha ha ha. So anyway, we tour zee rest of zee palace and I'm ready to go and zee boy, AKA Fester from zee Adams Family (good show, scary make up), tells us to call anytime and I say "ya ok big boy". It was a true American experience and now I am ready to drink some wine to forget about the zee whole thing."