Great Read
Ok, I just finished a book in like three days. Hairstyles of the Damned by Joe Meno, a local writer who teaches creative writing at Columbia College. Awesome read especially if you came of age in the 90's. Seriously. Read it. It's very punk and yet resonates with anyone who had their heart broke or every felt awkward during a time that everyone started dying their hair pink.
After reading it I decided to jump back on the train of writing about my own growing up experiences. Missy and I have been sort of writing this memoir about growing up in a small town in Indiana. We have gotten really busy and haven't worked on it in a while but I was inspired to write this very short memory:
Late high school was Billabong, hemp necklaces, Smashing Pumpkins, and The Doors posters. It was all about alternative music and being alternative and wearing army pants. I didn't quite know what drew me to this identity, but I tried it for the latter part of my senior year. This girl, Marissa, was the leader of that pack. She ran around school giving the devil sign, being a real tomboy, and for some reason, she and her 'best friend' Chase, were like the couple that everyone wondered was having sex. Marissa always said no and so did he but they flirted like crazy and I think they liked it that everyone wondered. I didn't even understand sex still so I believed everyone in high school was a virgin. Seriously, I was that stupid. Eventually, after high school, we all found out that they had been sleeping together the whole time and it sort of ruined their 'best friends forever' image and we all felt sort of let down.
Anyway, Marissa was a real hard core cheerleader too but she was from Vegas (moved here in 8th grade) so she had a sort of hardness too. She wasn't dainty and blond but rather curvy and hippie like. I admired her spirit and her always can do attitude and secretly I think a lot of us girls wished we were just like her. She would have a ton of people over all the time and we'd light incense in her room and put fake tattoos on and listen to the Doors. And I'd pretend her house was mine because she had really nice things like CD's and a huge stereo and tons of clothes that her mom would buy her anytime.
The amazing thing about Marissa was that she was adopted. Someone told me her mom was a musician and once Marissa said that but then she changed the subject and it was weird and sad and no one knew what she thought of it.
Marissa was a really free spirit and so was I but she was more daring so I idolized her. One day in school Marissa and I were walking down the hallway and this girl Jen, who hated me because I went on a date with her ex boyfriend once and she stalked me on the phone for like a week, saw me coming down the hallway. I had just gotten a pixie cut and when she looked at me she called me boy. I didn't say a damn thing and I felt choked up like someone wouldn't let me talk. You know like when you have those dreams where you are running but you can't like gravity is holding you back. It was like that every fucking time someone would bully me. Someone was always bullying me. Anyway, Marissa stopped and looked at me and said "Did she just say that?" And I was like "Ya, whatever." And she grabbed me by the arm and we took off running after Jen and I was really scared and finally we caught up to her and Marissa yells down the hall "Hey Jen!" and Jen turns around and Marissa is like "Why don't you stop being a bitch and go pick on someone who is more on your own level. What you said wasn't nice and if you do it again I'll kick your fucking ass." And all I can think is that's it I'm dead. But Jen just looks at us blankly and has nothing to say. And at this point everyone is staring at us and it's silent. And Marissa takes my hand and we turn and walk away. It was really awesome.
But then later that year we were in Marissa's basement and she took out a painting someone did of her when she was younger. We were just going through old junk and the picture was supposed to be of her like how she would look when she grows up and for some reason I was moved by the picture and I asked her if she imagined that's how her real mom might look and she got really weirded out and just said "I don't know. I don't think about that. Why would you say that?" And I just shrugged and felt really really stupid.
I always felt dumb after that. I know she probably didn't think much of it later but I think on some level she avoided real emotion and just wanted to be hard ass or really crazy all of the time. So eventually it came to be that we were sort of friends but not as close as we were before that night.
After reading it I decided to jump back on the train of writing about my own growing up experiences. Missy and I have been sort of writing this memoir about growing up in a small town in Indiana. We have gotten really busy and haven't worked on it in a while but I was inspired to write this very short memory:
Late high school was Billabong, hemp necklaces, Smashing Pumpkins, and The Doors posters. It was all about alternative music and being alternative and wearing army pants. I didn't quite know what drew me to this identity, but I tried it for the latter part of my senior year. This girl, Marissa, was the leader of that pack. She ran around school giving the devil sign, being a real tomboy, and for some reason, she and her 'best friend' Chase, were like the couple that everyone wondered was having sex. Marissa always said no and so did he but they flirted like crazy and I think they liked it that everyone wondered. I didn't even understand sex still so I believed everyone in high school was a virgin. Seriously, I was that stupid. Eventually, after high school, we all found out that they had been sleeping together the whole time and it sort of ruined their 'best friends forever' image and we all felt sort of let down.
Anyway, Marissa was a real hard core cheerleader too but she was from Vegas (moved here in 8th grade) so she had a sort of hardness too. She wasn't dainty and blond but rather curvy and hippie like. I admired her spirit and her always can do attitude and secretly I think a lot of us girls wished we were just like her. She would have a ton of people over all the time and we'd light incense in her room and put fake tattoos on and listen to the Doors. And I'd pretend her house was mine because she had really nice things like CD's and a huge stereo and tons of clothes that her mom would buy her anytime.
The amazing thing about Marissa was that she was adopted. Someone told me her mom was a musician and once Marissa said that but then she changed the subject and it was weird and sad and no one knew what she thought of it.
Marissa was a really free spirit and so was I but she was more daring so I idolized her. One day in school Marissa and I were walking down the hallway and this girl Jen, who hated me because I went on a date with her ex boyfriend once and she stalked me on the phone for like a week, saw me coming down the hallway. I had just gotten a pixie cut and when she looked at me she called me boy. I didn't say a damn thing and I felt choked up like someone wouldn't let me talk. You know like when you have those dreams where you are running but you can't like gravity is holding you back. It was like that every fucking time someone would bully me. Someone was always bullying me. Anyway, Marissa stopped and looked at me and said "Did she just say that?" And I was like "Ya, whatever." And she grabbed me by the arm and we took off running after Jen and I was really scared and finally we caught up to her and Marissa yells down the hall "Hey Jen!" and Jen turns around and Marissa is like "Why don't you stop being a bitch and go pick on someone who is more on your own level. What you said wasn't nice and if you do it again I'll kick your fucking ass." And all I can think is that's it I'm dead. But Jen just looks at us blankly and has nothing to say. And at this point everyone is staring at us and it's silent. And Marissa takes my hand and we turn and walk away. It was really awesome.
But then later that year we were in Marissa's basement and she took out a painting someone did of her when she was younger. We were just going through old junk and the picture was supposed to be of her like how she would look when she grows up and for some reason I was moved by the picture and I asked her if she imagined that's how her real mom might look and she got really weirded out and just said "I don't know. I don't think about that. Why would you say that?" And I just shrugged and felt really really stupid.
I always felt dumb after that. I know she probably didn't think much of it later but I think on some level she avoided real emotion and just wanted to be hard ass or really crazy all of the time. So eventually it came to be that we were sort of friends but not as close as we were before that night.
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