Palin/Biden Debate SPOOF
Charlie Gibson: Gov. Palin, how might you support McCain in his mission to succeed in Iraq?
Palin: Oh, Charlie, I can't forsee to know the answers to God's questions. But I will tell you that God has a plan for me and for you and the world and when it comes to war it's not about Iraq as much as it's about the clothes that they wear-actually it's all about faith and knowing that no matter what I believe in the United States of America. And then I would hope that John McCain, a man of steel, a man that I love and support, just like my mother supported me in the 1984 beauty pageant, would take care of our soldiers and my son because I am a mother who wears lipstick outside of the house.
Charlie Gibson: (blank stare) I'm confused. Was there a point to your answer?
Palin: Oh, no Charlie. No. But God asks us not to know everything. You know?
Charlie Gibson: No. Ok, Senator Biden, tell me, how do you plan to support Barack Obama's mission to succeed in Iraq?
Biden: We plan to withdraw troops and hold our government accountable for the choices we've made over the last eight years.
Palin: Four years!
Biden: What?
Gibson: What?
Palin: Oh, I'm sorry, wrong notes. Wrong notes. I read the wrong note here.
Biden: Our plan is strategic and careful but with every intent to bring our soldiers home.
Palin: Ok, but my son won't have a chance to go if you end the war.
Gibson: I don't understand.
Palin: My son is a son of God and God's work must be completed! Does anyone have some hairspray my beehive is falling down?
(McCain's wife enters the stage)
Mrs. McCain: I do!
(she sprays the beehive vigorously and leaves the stage winking at the audience)
Palin: Thank you! Geesh! A girl has a lot to think about when she's up here! This is hard work Charlie!
Gibson: Yes. Uh, Gov. Palin we'll go to the next question.
Palin: But first, if you don't mind Mr. Gibson, Mr. Biden-
Biden: Senator Biden.
Palin: Uh-huh. I just wanted to interlude our debate with some flute playing.
(she pulls a flute out from behind her podium and plays a tune. She puts it back)
Gibson: Ok, thank you Governor but we really need to get back to the issues.
Palin: Quite frankly I'm not that into the issues Charlie. I'm into solutions.
Gibson: Ok, so what would your solution be to the energy crisis that we are experiencing?
(Palin stares blankly at Charlie Gibson)
Gibson: Oooooh kaaaay and you Senator Biden?
Biden: Barack Obama and I are on a mission to reduce our reliance on oil within ten years.
Palin: How is that even possible? That makes no sense?
Biden: Well it will take time and money to invest in the advancement of-
Palin: Tick Tock Tick Tock the abortion clock is ticking! Whose pro choice? Not me!
Gibson: We need to stay on track here Gov. Palin.
Palin: I know but I'm just getting so booooorrrrreeeed.
Gibson: Let's take a break candidates. (to the camera) We'll be back after this commercial break to the 2008 Vice Presidential Debates.
Gibson: We'll be right back after this commercial. You are watching the Vice Presidential Debate 2008.
Palin: Oh, Charlie, I can't forsee to know the answers to God's questions. But I will tell you that God has a plan for me and for you and the world and when it comes to war it's not about Iraq as much as it's about the clothes that they wear-actually it's all about faith and knowing that no matter what I believe in the United States of America. And then I would hope that John McCain, a man of steel, a man that I love and support, just like my mother supported me in the 1984 beauty pageant, would take care of our soldiers and my son because I am a mother who wears lipstick outside of the house.
Charlie Gibson: (blank stare) I'm confused. Was there a point to your answer?
Palin: Oh, no Charlie. No. But God asks us not to know everything. You know?
Charlie Gibson: No. Ok, Senator Biden, tell me, how do you plan to support Barack Obama's mission to succeed in Iraq?
Biden: We plan to withdraw troops and hold our government accountable for the choices we've made over the last eight years.
Palin: Four years!
Biden: What?
Gibson: What?
Palin: Oh, I'm sorry, wrong notes. Wrong notes. I read the wrong note here.
Biden: Our plan is strategic and careful but with every intent to bring our soldiers home.
Palin: Ok, but my son won't have a chance to go if you end the war.
Gibson: I don't understand.
Palin: My son is a son of God and God's work must be completed! Does anyone have some hairspray my beehive is falling down?
(McCain's wife enters the stage)
Mrs. McCain: I do!
(she sprays the beehive vigorously and leaves the stage winking at the audience)
Palin: Thank you! Geesh! A girl has a lot to think about when she's up here! This is hard work Charlie!
Gibson: Yes. Uh, Gov. Palin we'll go to the next question.
Palin: But first, if you don't mind Mr. Gibson, Mr. Biden-
Biden: Senator Biden.
Palin: Uh-huh. I just wanted to interlude our debate with some flute playing.
(she pulls a flute out from behind her podium and plays a tune. She puts it back)
Gibson: Ok, thank you Governor but we really need to get back to the issues.
Palin: Quite frankly I'm not that into the issues Charlie. I'm into solutions.
Gibson: Ok, so what would your solution be to the energy crisis that we are experiencing?
(Palin stares blankly at Charlie Gibson)
Gibson: Oooooh kaaaay and you Senator Biden?
Biden: Barack Obama and I are on a mission to reduce our reliance on oil within ten years.
Palin: How is that even possible? That makes no sense?
Biden: Well it will take time and money to invest in the advancement of-
Palin: Tick Tock Tick Tock the abortion clock is ticking! Whose pro choice? Not me!
Gibson: We need to stay on track here Gov. Palin.
Palin: I know but I'm just getting so booooorrrrreeeed.
Gibson: Let's take a break candidates. (to the camera) We'll be back after this commercial break to the 2008 Vice Presidential Debates.
Gibson: We'll be right back after this commercial. You are watching the Vice Presidential Debate 2008.
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