Ashley Todd: In Her Own Words

Hey what's up? Things have been really crazy lately. Sorry I haven't returned any phone calls. So did you hear what happened to me? Well, it didn't really happen to me as much as it happened from me. I'm super confused but whatever, it's been really dramatic with the police and everything and I totally didn't mean to worry anyone. See, usually when I pick up my carton of cigs at Meijer on Fridays I get my prescription refilled but this week I didn't work much because I wasn't feeling like working so I didn't get paid enough. Anyway I was driving along singing to the new Jessica Simpson CD when this car pulled out in front of me and they had an Obama sticker on their car. So immediately I thought I should call the police cause they're stupid. So I did. End of story right? Not. Turns out somewhere between me calling the police and me talking to the police in person I end up looking like this shit. I freaked and made up a story about how the Obama supporter carved a B in my face because I had just see the Barack sticker and B is for Barack and so I figured that's who did it. I don't know. I kind of got caught in a bunch of lies and had no real motive for calling the police in the first place so they were all confused. Well then it occured to me that occasionally I cut letters into my legs. As recent as five minutes ago I carved "ydnic" on me. It's a fun game. See if you can guess what it is. So anyway, I'm thinking maybe I did this to myself and maybe B actually stands for BIG FAT LIAR. So I told the police that no one did this to me and it was all a symptom of being a schizo. But deep down I know it's just a symptom of being a really young, brainwashed, weirdo republican. So what? It's more important to fight for a cause than to worry about being the cause of something bad. Like lying. And false accusations. Anyway, I'm going to stay in for a few days until my skin heals. Or until I need another carton of cigs.