The Inconvenient Truth: For Tourists
Tourists, when you are visiting the city, here are some tips to keep in mind when travelling, walking, commuting, talking, breathing in the new territory:
#1 When the train comes to a hault and people are behind you and need to exit the train, move out of the way instead of inhabiting a look of panic on your face, because you are having full fledged attack from clausterphobia. You can actually step off the train to allow passengers off, which will give you air, and the train conductor will allow plenty of time for you to step back on.
#2 When you call places in the city, say, for example, a hotel, a restaurant, or theatre to obtain a) tickets b) reservations c) directions or d) a phone number for some other business that may or may not be relevant to the establishment you are calling, please have the courtesy to call while you are not a) shopping b)lost c)having another transaction or d) drunk.
#3 Walking in the city is a popular form of transportation for thousands of people who both live here and visit here. When walking on the sidewalk DO NOT walk side by side so as to disallow oncoming traffic to pass. Do not expect that oncoming traffic should step off the sidewalk to get around you. Also, when walking, obey traffic signals or you will get killed by a biker or cabbie.
#4 Just don't be rude. Just don't. Sometimes when visiting another city, and you've brought hundreds or thousands of dollars to spend you might feel like Pretty Woman or some other Cinderella type of character. It may feel that you are a princess or a prince and that in the city you are royalty. You are not.
#5 When asking for directions, just listen. Sometimes it may feel as though you know where you are going. But you don't. It's confusing and when we tell you to go a certain way, don't talk over us and say "oh, yeah, yeah, I know where I'm going. North right?" No. As I said, listen, and so many revelations await you.
#6 Getting drunk in the city is fun. Way funner than in the country. Do it with class and please don't show your tee tees or your tah.
#1 When the train comes to a hault and people are behind you and need to exit the train, move out of the way instead of inhabiting a look of panic on your face, because you are having full fledged attack from clausterphobia. You can actually step off the train to allow passengers off, which will give you air, and the train conductor will allow plenty of time for you to step back on.
#2 When you call places in the city, say, for example, a hotel, a restaurant, or theatre to obtain a) tickets b) reservations c) directions or d) a phone number for some other business that may or may not be relevant to the establishment you are calling, please have the courtesy to call while you are not a) shopping b)lost c)having another transaction or d) drunk.
#3 Walking in the city is a popular form of transportation for thousands of people who both live here and visit here. When walking on the sidewalk DO NOT walk side by side so as to disallow oncoming traffic to pass. Do not expect that oncoming traffic should step off the sidewalk to get around you. Also, when walking, obey traffic signals or you will get killed by a biker or cabbie.
#4 Just don't be rude. Just don't. Sometimes when visiting another city, and you've brought hundreds or thousands of dollars to spend you might feel like Pretty Woman or some other Cinderella type of character. It may feel that you are a princess or a prince and that in the city you are royalty. You are not.
#5 When asking for directions, just listen. Sometimes it may feel as though you know where you are going. But you don't. It's confusing and when we tell you to go a certain way, don't talk over us and say "oh, yeah, yeah, I know where I'm going. North right?" No. As I said, listen, and so many revelations await you.
#6 Getting drunk in the city is fun. Way funner than in the country. Do it with class and please don't show your tee tees or your tah.
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