Ex Wife Thinks Ex Husband is Poisoning Children through Satanic Church

So apparently this woman in Indiana thinks that her ex husband's membership to a Satanic church is hurting her children and she wants her children to attend her Christian church. She is taking her ex husband to court so that a judge can decide if the children should be going to a Christian church rather than a Satanic church. According to the husband, who doesn't sound all that kooky in the Tribune, his church doesn't worship Satan, it just means that he doesn't believe in a supreme being and he thinks that people should make their own choices. He said he values individuality and liberty. Although I can't seem to figure out why they don't just call it Liberty worshipping or Atheism. Nevertheless, that's the backstory.

Here's the devil's point of view:

It all started sometime between the beginning of time and the first time I realized I had a vagina. But regardless I realized I was different from most people and that I had a strong addiction to things like sex, money, and rock and roll. I couldn't quite figure it out. I felt lost. Then I heard about this God guy and how he was addicted to peace, love, and organized religion. I became fascinated. I studied his lifestyle. I learned that he ate clean organic foods and washed his laundry every single day with bleach. I decided we'd be a good match. So I sent him a letter and he agreed to meet with me. We dated. Yes, most people don't know this but we dated for about a year (right around the time that the curse came upon Cubs stadium). But it didn't work out. We were too different. The guy couldn't stand my temper and I couldn't stand his arrogance. We clashed and thus we parted, becoming what some have labeled, enemies. We've actually reconciled since then but he knows that I'm never going to be that into his perfectionist style and he know I'll never give up my rebellious side to be heard and to enjoy some of the dangerous sides of life. So then I hear about this story, the ex wife mad at the ex husband for going to a Satanic church and I'm like, hey, when did people decide that being perfect was the way to go!? I mean sure, I might be heart breaker from time to time or maybe I get a cold if I smoke a few too many cigs or maybe I slept with Bob Dylan while he was dating Edie but I am not to be mistaken for some cheap loser!! And by the way let the ex wife know that God professed his love to me first, stating, and I quote "if it wasn't for you, I'd never be found." Yeah, he denies it now, but I'll tell you this: it's the best sex I've ever had.

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