Dear PMS Monster/Fairy Queen
Here are some things I'd like to know the "WHY?!" to:
1. A 10 pound gain
2. Painful gouges on face area
3. Cravings for salt, chocolate, pencil shavings, and shoe laces.
4. Elation to frustration to constipation
5. Cleaning madness and sudden fits of throwing messes on the floor and laughing at laundry detergent ads.
6. Desire to watch bad movies and believe they make me feel sad or happy
7. Wrapping myself in holiday wrapping paper. Eating it.
8. Feeling like I'm carrying a small child in my uterus.
9. Eventually believing I actually might be carrying a small child and that I hate that child.
10. Being happy when I lose the small child in my uterus.
11. Sudden loss of 10 pounds but gain of MASSIVE CRAMPING AND GAS
12. Usually one the very day before the big P, wanting to dress pretty, taking time with things like applying lipstick and later realizing that I look like a clown and was not in the right frame of mind to be dressing up.
13. Spending the last hour before going from a pool of tears to putting on an ACTUAL clown show.
14. Arriving to the realization that my chemical balance is imbalanced but I function well as a clown/monster/man.
Thank you for reviewing these symptoms and getting back to me ASAP.
Jessica Hardy
1. A 10 pound gain
2. Painful gouges on face area
3. Cravings for salt, chocolate, pencil shavings, and shoe laces.
4. Elation to frustration to constipation
5. Cleaning madness and sudden fits of throwing messes on the floor and laughing at laundry detergent ads.
6. Desire to watch bad movies and believe they make me feel sad or happy
7. Wrapping myself in holiday wrapping paper. Eating it.
8. Feeling like I'm carrying a small child in my uterus.
9. Eventually believing I actually might be carrying a small child and that I hate that child.
10. Being happy when I lose the small child in my uterus.
11. Sudden loss of 10 pounds but gain of MASSIVE CRAMPING AND GAS
12. Usually one the very day before the big P, wanting to dress pretty, taking time with things like applying lipstick and later realizing that I look like a clown and was not in the right frame of mind to be dressing up.
13. Spending the last hour before going from a pool of tears to putting on an ACTUAL clown show.
14. Arriving to the realization that my chemical balance is imbalanced but I function well as a clown/monster/man.
Thank you for reviewing these symptoms and getting back to me ASAP.
Jessica Hardy
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