Emotions
My emotions have been raw the last couple of days. I cry over email forwards, I pout if I trip in the snow. What's wrong with me? I often say this to myself as I fight the bitter wind on the windy streets. I am a sensitive person, but this is ridiculous. I'm not even pmsing.
Then last night Brent and I are moving boxes at 10:00 at night to our new apt. The snow is high and its hard to find a parking spot. We pull over in the alley and load up our stuff. Brent gets a phone call, and I continue to go back down to the car. When I arrive two cars are waiting to get through the alley behind us. We aren't blocking the entire way, but I guess enough to cause a problem. I felt bad but then these people start shouting at me. One guy says put your box down, get organized, and stop being a ditz. I tell him to not speak to me that way. To have some patience and realize that we didn't park there to inconvenience him. The other car is shouting obsentities to me as I walk to my car.
The guy pulls around me, parks, and goes about his business shoveling his backyard. I'm shaken and frustrated. It's been a long day. Both of our parents are going in for surgery this week and we are moving. I feel entitled to these emotions and then I realize that this is why I'm feeling raw. It's a lot of change. Tears well up in my eyes and I can't see to fight back the insecurity that I feel, the fear and the general uneasiness of shifting our lives and dealing with sick family.
As Brent and I leave the apartment the old man stops shoveling and looks at me. I am angry and plan to continue walking. He says "Ma'am I need to apologize for my behavior. What a dreadful night to be moving. I could have been understanding. I'm sorry." It meant so much, and I aplogized back.
When we got back in our car, I sobbed. I just let it out and it needed to happen. Something in me was caught and I released it.
Emotions can be funny. It may not mean there is something wrong with a person. We just need to shit it all out sometimes and move on.
Then last night Brent and I are moving boxes at 10:00 at night to our new apt. The snow is high and its hard to find a parking spot. We pull over in the alley and load up our stuff. Brent gets a phone call, and I continue to go back down to the car. When I arrive two cars are waiting to get through the alley behind us. We aren't blocking the entire way, but I guess enough to cause a problem. I felt bad but then these people start shouting at me. One guy says put your box down, get organized, and stop being a ditz. I tell him to not speak to me that way. To have some patience and realize that we didn't park there to inconvenience him. The other car is shouting obsentities to me as I walk to my car.
The guy pulls around me, parks, and goes about his business shoveling his backyard. I'm shaken and frustrated. It's been a long day. Both of our parents are going in for surgery this week and we are moving. I feel entitled to these emotions and then I realize that this is why I'm feeling raw. It's a lot of change. Tears well up in my eyes and I can't see to fight back the insecurity that I feel, the fear and the general uneasiness of shifting our lives and dealing with sick family.
As Brent and I leave the apartment the old man stops shoveling and looks at me. I am angry and plan to continue walking. He says "Ma'am I need to apologize for my behavior. What a dreadful night to be moving. I could have been understanding. I'm sorry." It meant so much, and I aplogized back.
When we got back in our car, I sobbed. I just let it out and it needed to happen. Something in me was caught and I released it.
Emotions can be funny. It may not mean there is something wrong with a person. We just need to shit it all out sometimes and move on.
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