Dear Linda,
Well. Retaliation has occurred. As you know, I left a note for my upstairs neighbor to keep the noise down at 5 am. She responded with this letter:
Dear 1st Floor tenant, (oh and keep in mind that she's the landlord's daughter)
For your information I was visiting a sick relative in the hospital last night. If my coming home at 5am, going upstairs and getting ready for work constitutes a nuisance then might I suggest the following options:
1. Go live in a single family home or a TRAILER
2. Go live in a top floor apt. where the noise won't bother you
3. Go see a doctor about your sleep issues
Also, the hallway smells of cat urine and I don't own a cat.
(and no signature)
The End.
AHEEEMMMMMM. Upon receiving the letter I was not too surprised. She is spoiled. She is rude. And she is the landlord's daughter. This is not the first time she has treated me as a mere peasant that her father owns. She is what I like to refer to as a ho bag.
If I had chosen to respond to this letter, which I have not and do not plan to. I might have written the following.
Hi Linda,
Sick relative? It sounded like you were celebrating their illness, not coming home drained from a night of praying over someone's bedside. By the way do you weigh 500 pounds or is that just your shoes? Oh, and you have a mustache.
If you have a hard time understanding that 5am is an unreasonable time to wake me up might I suggest these options for you:
1. Wrap some plastic wrap around your head and make sure there is a lot of air in it. Then take your hands and smack your head really hard. Not only will you pop the air but you might give yourself a headache. This is how I felt at 5am.
2. Go outside and sit under a tree. Look up to the sky and pray. Then I will go set your apt. on fire so that you'll have to go live in a trailer and think about the luxury you had as a NON paying tenant.
3. Go the doctor for your vaginal issues. By vaginal I mean the fact that you've been urinating in the stairwell. I don't own a vaginal.
If these things do not work I have other good suggestions. One involves olives and the other involves goggles with no plastic over the eyes but you swim in a pool of bleach anyway.
Dear 1st Floor tenant, (oh and keep in mind that she's the landlord's daughter)
For your information I was visiting a sick relative in the hospital last night. If my coming home at 5am, going upstairs and getting ready for work constitutes a nuisance then might I suggest the following options:
1. Go live in a single family home or a TRAILER
2. Go live in a top floor apt. where the noise won't bother you
3. Go see a doctor about your sleep issues
Also, the hallway smells of cat urine and I don't own a cat.
(and no signature)
The End.
AHEEEMMMMMM. Upon receiving the letter I was not too surprised. She is spoiled. She is rude. And she is the landlord's daughter. This is not the first time she has treated me as a mere peasant that her father owns. She is what I like to refer to as a ho bag.
If I had chosen to respond to this letter, which I have not and do not plan to. I might have written the following.
Hi Linda,
Sick relative? It sounded like you were celebrating their illness, not coming home drained from a night of praying over someone's bedside. By the way do you weigh 500 pounds or is that just your shoes? Oh, and you have a mustache.
If you have a hard time understanding that 5am is an unreasonable time to wake me up might I suggest these options for you:
1. Wrap some plastic wrap around your head and make sure there is a lot of air in it. Then take your hands and smack your head really hard. Not only will you pop the air but you might give yourself a headache. This is how I felt at 5am.
2. Go outside and sit under a tree. Look up to the sky and pray. Then I will go set your apt. on fire so that you'll have to go live in a trailer and think about the luxury you had as a NON paying tenant.
3. Go the doctor for your vaginal issues. By vaginal I mean the fact that you've been urinating in the stairwell. I don't own a vaginal.
If these things do not work I have other good suggestions. One involves olives and the other involves goggles with no plastic over the eyes but you swim in a pool of bleach anyway.
Comments