Two Pairs

I bought two pairs of shoes today. Did I need these shoes? Depends on your definition of need.

If you think need means: "If I don't get these shoes I will just go spend my money on something else later like a people magazine and some lip gloss and ice cream." Raise your hand.

If you think need means: "If I don't get these shoes I won't pay my rent but I'll still have these shoes and they'll look really sweet ass tomorrow night when I go out." Raise your hand.

If you think need means: "If I don't get these shoes I will not wear any shoes today because I don't have any shoes. Not even on my feet right now as I'm buying the shoes." Raise your hand.

If you think need means: "If I don't get these shoes I won't be able to cook anything for dinner because I don't have any pots and pans and I have to use these shoes, my only pair of shoes now, to cook some beans in." Raise your hand.

If you think need means: "If I don't get these shoes I won't be able to keep warm tonight because I will have to live in my shoes." Raise your hand.

Now put your hand down and go take the shoes back.