"Hi, I'm Lindsay Lohan. Peace to the leopard that I'm wearing and to all of you who are here tonight to celebrate the VMA's. Do I look fat? God, I hope not. Anyway, did you know that you can dye your own hair? I just figured this out. I normally don't go to Osco's or anything ghetto like that but I tried it out, and wouldn't ya know, blond in a box and here I am. Looking hot as ever. I hope Wilmer isn't here. But if he is I am totally hooking up with him tonight since I haven't eaten since yesterday. Oh God, did you hear about the Katrina hurricane. Yeah, shit, that is some fucked up shit. I went to New Orleans once. How are they going to do Mardis Gras next year? Maybe I can donate a bunch of my money and get it going again. Since everything is under water, we can have Mardis Gras at my place!!! Oh my God, where's Wilmer, I have to invite him! Ok, I'll talk to you later! Peace."
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